A French teacher was explaining to her college class that in French, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

House is feminine "la maison." Pencil is masculine "Le crayon."

A student asked, "What gender is computer ?"

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups male and female - and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

---

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender (la computer) because:

• No one but their creator understands their internal logic
  
  
• The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else
  
  
• Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later review
  
  
• As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay cheque on accessories for it
  

---

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine Le computer) because:

• In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on
  
  
• They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves
  
  
• They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem
  
  
• As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model

---

Source: FUNLOK

A local newspaper (in England) ran a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line... But the least romantic second line.


Here are some of the entries they received.

---

My feelings for you no words can tell,


Except for maybe "go to hell"

---

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you;


But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head

---

Oh loving beauty you float with grace;


If only you could hide your face

---

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;

This describes everything you are not

---

I want to feel your sweet embrace;

But don't take that paper bag off of your face

---

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes;

Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

---

I see your face when I am dreaming;


That's why I always wake up screaming

---

My love, you take my breath away;

What have you stepped in to smell this way

---

Source: FUNLOK

A father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy.

Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:- 

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving

home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. 

I've been finding real passion with Randy and he is so nice to me. I know

when you meet him you'll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together.

Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days is it? ), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of our relationship, don't you agree?

Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he has other

girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own way. He

wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too..

Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be

growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine

and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren. 

Your loving daughter,

Rosie.

At the bottom of the page were the letters " PTO".

Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbour's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home.

I love you! 

Your loving daughter,

Rosie

Do you like magic? Do you think David Blaine is amazing? Well, no matter what your answers were, you are gonna love this. It is a parody of David Blaine's Street Magic. It has got both magic (well, sort of...) and humour -- what more could you ask for? ;) They've got millions of views on youtube. Check it out! You won't be disappointed. 

Note: I really love the parts where he stares into the camera ;) 

---

David Blaine's Street Magic - Part 1

---

David Blaine's Street Magic - Part 2

---

David Blaine's Street Magic - Part 3

Source: ThoseLilRabbits - All rights reserved by ThoseLilRabbits

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor. 

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 

7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new. 

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the same bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came, would I be standing here, dumbass?